I’m not entirely sure what has changed, but something has. I am feeling so much more in control of myself. I have had a really good week this last week, I’ve been able to control myself when I feel my temper rising. I’ve been taking a step back and seeing the situation for what it is and realising it’s not worth getting stressed over and losing my temper with the kids which I’ll feel guilty for immediately after.
I’m not saying I haven’t got cross at all, but it feels like I’m being cross in a rational way instead of completely losing it for the most ridiculous reasons.
As a result, I feel I’m getting on lots better with the M again. Not that we weren’t getting on before, but I’m appreciating everything about him and being with him again rather than waiting for him to do something that will make me blow up.
He must have picked up on this change in me as his behaviour has been great. Or maybe it’s always been great, but I can only realise it now I’m feeling more in control and myself again.
I’m not deluded into thinking that this is it, I’m fine now. I’m still going to take the help that has been offered to me so I can continue to feel like I do now as the longer I feel great, the less likely I am to fall down again.
